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 Post subject: Killer Ambition
PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 6:59 pm 
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Hi, im back again. im still trying to update my life,my story but i want to get this story out first as i feel personally it's more intresting and well honestly has a better story. but it will be set out in movie script format. i felt thats the only way i could write this. I'm not gonna give an outline of the plot because it will just spoil the story(':P'). so enough from me.
without further ado.

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Killer ambition

Present day.

A police crime scene.Blood and bodies everywhere in a nightclub,lights are still flashing and fast paced music is still playing.
"Turn that crap off,God this is a damn massacre, there's nobody left to dance", a tall greying man with a long southern drawl shouts.From his outfit you can tell he's an important man in the police, but from his accent you would expect to see him wearing a cowboy hat not a dark suit.

"Sir,Sir" a young man who is also wearing a suit shouts from the far corner of the room.

"What do you want Stevens " the grey man shouts back, clearly irritated by his ambitious and kiss as newbie, Stevens.

"Sir theres a live one here" Stevens shouts to his boss. "Get the EMT".

"Oh really" Henderson(the grey man)asks sarcasticly as he slowly makes his way over to he spot where Stevens is, he does'nt believe him, no one could have survived in this.

Stevens is bent down over a young Carcasion woman in her early twenties. She is beautifull, and not the type of beauty that takes hours to perfect, shes is maybe was a natural beauty with long flowing dark brown hair a beautifull figure and full round lips even though they were partly spoiled by the trace of blood than ran from both her lips and mouth, even her eyelashes were gorgeous.Too bad you could'nt see her eyes.

"Good God this is one damn tuff bitch" he is mesmorised by her beauty but his eyes are quickly downcasted. he is fixated on the small bullet hole that is in the center of her chest, that is now covered in blood, directly above her heart.He stares at the bullet hole inquisitively.

"She was shot on purpose" the officers years of experience seaping through.

"How do you know that" Stevens asks intrigued.

"Nobody shots a beautifull lookin lady like her with one bullet hole directly into the chest without a purpose" he looks directly at Stevens with a serious stare."Theres more behind the story of what has happened here than you think, look around", he gestures an open wide movement with his arms, "nobody here is shot just once they all have multiple bullet wounds, they were victims of circumstance", he points to the young girl. "she was what he was here for,she was the victim, she was the unfinished business". he finally finished.

Both Stevens and Henderson stepped away from the young woman and let the EMT's do there job.


Stevens was about to ask his senior a question but stopped himself as he saw that his senior had'nt quite finished.

"Oh yeah the guy that organised this and definetly took part in this mess wanted to send a big brash message" the older man continued with squinted eyes.

"Looks like he succeded" Stevens finally concluded.

"That he did" Henderson argreed and started to walk away.

"But Sir" Stevens shouted.

Henderson stopped but did'nt turn around.

"How do you know that the guy that organised this purposely shot the girl with only one bullet in the heart it could just be coincidence ". He asked still quite not understanding his seniors mind.

Stevens still had alot to learn.
"Ever heard the phrase behind every great man has to be a great woman" Henderson shouted over his shoulder.

"yes its a great Aretha franklin song, but sir". Henderson cut him off and turned around.

"well along with that saying theres also the very well known fact that behind every bad man there has to be a bad woman". he paused for effect. and looked directly at his younger co worker and smiled. "but this time she just so happens to be alive and beautifull".

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thanks for reading. feedback is greatly appreciated and spurns me to update quicker i have wrote nearly all of the next part and the updates should come quite quick.

p.s this story won't just be about all about this woman. she is just a minor part in a much bigger stoy. if you like gangsta type stuff with many twists and turns you'll love this.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:10 pm 
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Good start! :thumbsup I wonder who did it! Maybe an ex-boyfriend or jealous husband? You've given us an interesting mystery!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 2:59 am 
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Wow, quite interesting. Can't wait for more

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 5:42 pm 
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Killer Ambition Part 2

12 Years Ago

A run down alley.A car is parked dirrectly infront of it in the shadows. The car is filled with young black men.Theres absolute silence except for the pouring rain outside and the restless fidgiting of the guys in the back seat. All of them except the driver is feeling uncomfortable.The driver has a hard sturn look on his face and has his total concentration on a door in the dark alley, their waiting. He's waiting.

Sounds of laughter breaks the defyning silence and instantly all memebers of the car are drawn to the sounds coming from the alley as they are all suddenly focused on the two people who just exited a small door.

A tall carcasion male about 19/20 years old and a younger boy about 12/13. They exist the door joking and fighting. From the state of their dress you can see they have just come from a gym and from the gloves thrown over the older boys shoulder you believe it was a boxing gym.The younger boy looks up to the older boy in such awe and adoration there is deep love there.Both of the boys are blond and look alot like each other, anybody could see they were brothers.

The older boy is so engrossed in his play with his brother he stops infront of him and raises his hands, palms flat at the younger boy and says "show me what you got champ" as the younger boy starts hitting his hand he looks over his brothers shoulder and notices the car in the shadows.He's instantly on guard.

The gang in the car who have been watching the whole exchange start to exit the car, and make there way slowly over to the two boys. The older boy sees them and recognises the leader. He bends down to his brothers height and talks to him slowly and clearly but with a certain urgency, not to frightening the younger sibling but to let him now that he was'nt messing around neither. "Kyle run home and look the door".

"But" kyle tries to say, instantly spooked by his brothers sudden change in demenor. Kyle then looks over his shoulder and sees the gang but more importantly he sees the driver and the image of the stone hard, cold look of this man is suddenly burnt into his mind. His brother grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him to face forward. "Kyle no buts, go home now and run as fast as you can and don't look back" he looks one more time behind his brothers shoulder. "what ever you do don't look back" he says finally with a tear in his eye."Now go"the older boy gives his brother a tight hesitant hug and a kiss on the forehead, he stands up and pushes his brother into the opposite direction to the gang, down the dark alley. Kyle runs a bit then looks back sadly, but his brother shouts one last time loudly, "GOOOO". Kyle is shocked and obeys and keeps running down the dark alley intent on keeping his brothers orders. Until he hears inhuman scream "AAAAAAAHHHHHH".

Kyle is at a cross-roads he know his brother told him to run, but he's very worried as he knows that terrible scream came from his older, loving brother. He turns back and runs towards he left his brother but careful not to get spotted he hides behind a dumpster and what he sees will forever haunt him.

His brother is battered and brusied and the floor is covered in his blood, he looks aT his brothers face to see that it is smashed in, he's barely recognisable he also notices that his brother is missing three fingers from his right hand, and he is being held by three men.

This happens in slow motion to Kyle like a bad dream that won't end but what catches kyles eye the most is the driver he recognises from earlier standing over his brothers battered body, but Kyles attenetion is more drawn to the weapon in the drivers hands. The driver raises it high in the air looks the at the boy laying infront of him and says in a low cold voice "This is because I wanted to" and he bring the baseball bat down hard ontop of the mans head. Happy with their work the gang leave and get back in the car and drive away.

Young kyle hides behind the dumpster shaking with fear and distress, knees held tight to his chest for comfort. he finally looks out from behind it and sees that the gang have gone and that his brother is lying motionless on the floor.

He slowly stands up using the wall to steady himself. Kyle slowly makes his way towards his brother although he was sleeping and he did'nt want to disturb him.Kyle stands over him and barely recognises his brother. kyle bends down and cradles his brothers head but does not cry, he just stares dead, lifeless at an object on the floor. The baseball bat.



thanks for feedback guys glad your enjoying it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 5:08 am 
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This is getting better and better

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 1:01 am 
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Interesting new part! The suspense grows!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 10, 2007 7:28 pm 
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hi guys, thanks for the reviews, the next part should'nt be long just putting the finishing touches on it.


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 Post subject: new chapter
PostPosted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 2:46 pm 
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sexiness behind closed doors

chapter 3

12 years later,
Present time

A young Caucasian male about 20 years old is sitting in a beat up old car, he has his dark hood from his jacket up over his head and covering his face. He sits there quietly and concentrated on a bar in front of him, the radio plays old 90’s rap songs, but the driver isn’t paying attention, he’s too focused on the entrance of the bar.

Suddenly the bar door opens and out tumble a group of women some partially dressed and some dressed casually, from what you can see of the bars sign “savo’s sexi’s” and the partially dressed lady on the neon sign you know it’s a strip club. The man in the car instantly perks up at women in the group’s laughter and he’s searching for someone in the group, but he can’t see her.

The driver is both worried and angered and gets out of the car and slams the door harshly, not even bothering to lock it. He hastily makes his way over to the group of women and stops in front of the older looking one in the group “excuse me, where’s jess” he ask with a bitter tone in his voice. The women turns to him “excuse me, who are you, and who the hell do you think you are talking to me that way” the guy replies with a cold stare “look lady I don’t have to answer for myself, where is Jess”, he snaps back “and who wants to know” the women replies getting a little irritated by this punk of the street.

“Me, her Boyfriend, now tell me where is she” he asks starting to lose his rag.
The women gives him one more look “working!!, now if you don’t mind I have a home to go to, come on ladies” and the women walks past the guys mumbling “damn punk, can’t believe Jessie’s with that asshole” “amen sister” another women concludes.

The driver just ignores them and stares at the club, with determination and a real bad pissed of look on his face, he starts making his way towards the club hastily and gets to the doors, but a doorman stops him. “Excuse me sir but I’m gonna have to ask you to remove the hood before you go in there”, the man having enough of arguing agrees and removes the hood and reveals his face. And walks inside the club. It’s smoky and hazy and not to clear, and all around are older men with drinks in-front of them and dollars in hand while watching the young half naked ladies dance erotically in-front of them.

Looking around the guy, spots who he’s been looking for. There in the far left is a young lady in her twenties, with long brown hair, a beautiful figure and full gorgeous lips, she has the most amount of men around her and compared to the other ladies she’s the most dressed, wearing stilettos and a well what can be described as ‘a modest bikini’ compared to what the other ladies in the club has on. He couldn’t move he just stared at her, his face holding a certain amount of betrayal and anger. The women, who we presume is Jessie is totally oblivious to the other man staring at her, instead she is working hard and pleasing customers by dancing sexily around a pole and smiling at them with a come hither look. Jessie flips her hair and looks up and her eyes meet, the young mans, she stares at him with shock, with a dear caught in the headlights look, and the young man just stared back with a angered look, and he starts walking very fast towards her, and in a blink of an eye he’s in front of her. Jessie barely even has a chance to say “Kyle I’m” before the young man had picked her up and thrown her over his shoulder must to the disappointment of the punters. The owner sees this and starts casing after Kyle “hey hey, she doesn’t clock off for another 20 minutes”. The young man just looks at the owner who he presumes Is Savo, “She’s clocked off, Permanently” the young man spits out and pushes past him, and the doormen who had heard the commotion start to make their way towards the young man, but Savo motions no. So the doormen leave him, the young man marches outside still with Jessie over his shoulder who is kicking and screaming for her realise now, he opens the passengers door and throws her in and walks round to the drivers seat and gets in and starts the car. “Kyle what the hell do you think you are doing” Jessie shouts. “Taking you home” Kyle replies through gritted teeth. “Kyle look…” Jessie pleads. “Well talk about this when we get home” Kyle replies in a cool calm voice that scared Jessie.


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 Post subject: Re: Killer Ambition
PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:10 am 
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Well, he doesn't fool around. So what now? :confused

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